Reply To: Feeling some type of way about my friend.

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March 1, 2023 at 10:38 am #1118859

It’s ok to not be friends with this person anymore if the friendship is toxic or unsatisfying for you. I had a friend who was trans and we were casual friends for years but as she got more and more toxic, she had fewer friends in her life and so the ones who stuck around, like me, were leaned on more by her. She was really toxic though and I wanted out of the friendship but I worried that that would leave her with no one and I felt bad about that. I didn’t want her to have no one or to be sad. I wanted her to be happy and healthy. I had a hard time negotiating these seemingly conflicting feelings, so I stayed in the friendship longer than I wanted and she eventually blew up at me over something that wasn’t my fault in a moment that I was particularly vulnerable (my 19-year-old cat was dying) and I said enough! I blocked her number and haven’t spoken to her since and I only wish I’d gotten out sooner.

I say all this on the chance that you have any feelings of guilt, like I did, about leaving a friendship with someone whose support system is already small. You are not obligated to stay in a friendship that doesn’t serve you.