Reply To: How can I make a move?

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March 1, 2023 at 10:52 am #1118862

The hints I gave him: essentially the insurance stuff. I told him I was considering taking a retirement insurance and told him maybe you can help me on it, do the follow up. But he never did. Also I look at him a lot haha… and once I complimented him on his weight loss, I told him he was looking good.

What I want is to know him better. Going out for a drink, talk together and see wether my opinion of him is the right one (but I already know much about him, his life, so…) And if we enjoy each other I want something casual first and then see how it develops. When I say casual, I mean not committed. At this point of the relationship, we would keep it secret and if someday it turns out to become serious then we will see.

But I’m still very concerned about how my ex would react and all the people we know. My ex always told me to find someone he doesn’t know yet, (meaning out of town because he knows everybody). I had two affairs last year with guys from my town. They were younger, one was 25 and the other 30, and he knew about it because people talk. And he didn’t like it at all and said that now everyone knows I’m looking for younger boys. Even my dad’s friend knows theses guys and my friend surely told him about them, at least I guess… Because once he asked me how my “little life” was going, it was one year after my divorce, that time I was dating multiple guys on the same time, and going out with them in town sometimes… (which was a bad idea btw)

I have to figure out whether I’m willing to take that risk or not. But I think I will. After all, I’m divorced, I’m a big girl and I am free to do what ever I want… Don’t you think? What Im afraid of is him saying he is not interested and all the others knowing what I did and judge me for it… When I say all the others, I mean, the waiters/customers from the bar, then his family, then my friend, my ex and all of my ex’s buddies… and to go even further the entire town haha. I would feel so ashamed.