I know you have a kid with your ex-husband but outside of maintaining a friendly or cordial relationship as needed for your kid’s sake, whoooooo cares that your ex wants you to date someone he doesn’t know? He doesn’t get a say in that!
And once again, asking about insurance is not a hint. While married at that. (Why were you dropping (non-hint) hints while married in the first place?) Looking at someone is not dropping a hint. Complimenting weight loss is inappropriate, IMO, and also not a hint.
If you’re THIS concerned about the optics and fallout but willing to go to nearby towns for a casual fling with a hometown daddy, why not download a dating app and set a wide range (both for geography and age) to see if you find any attractive singles?