Reply To: “Can you field one more ‘plus 1’ question?”

Since you’ve been best friends with your BFF for 41 years, if I were you, I might make a casual mention about the exclusion of your boyfriend the next time you talk to her. It could be along the lines of, “I got “Jane’s” invitation in the mail and I’m so excited to attend her wedding. I didn’t get a plus 1 but I think “Hank” will come to Canada with me anyway and we’ll make a long weekend of it. He can find something to do while I’m at the wedding.” Then, your friend can choose to address the issue of the no plus one or not address it. The truth is, you don’t know for sure why your boyfriend wasn’t invited; you’re only speculating. And my hunch is that YOU are the one who is most hurt by the exclusion and not your boyfriend.

In any event, neither you nor your boyfriend should take this personally. Clearly, your BFF isn;t in a good place right now, and whatever bitterness she feels is not directed toward you even though you believe you are receiving some of it. This wedding is one day — one day in your life, one day in the life of your relationships, and one day in what has been a 41 year friendship. Don’t let one day — one perceived slight — create more drama than it’s worth. Your boyfriend can still accompany you to Canada and you can still enjoy a long weekend there together. Surely, he can busy himself with something while you’re at the wedding, and you’ll know enough people there to have a good time without him. For the good of your friendship and your relationship with this woman who has been like a niece to you, try to bury your resentment at least until your BFF is in a better place emotionally.