Many of us understand exactly how hard it is to extricate ourselves from someone we desperately do not want to leave, or who has weaponized their mental illness to make us feel responsible for their life or death decisions. I was in that position with my ex husband who was physically holding a firearm to his own head in front of me. Someone I not only had actually met in real life but who I had spent a decade of my life with, and who for much of that time had been a good man.
You’ve gone beyond the point that people on an Internet forum can help you. I agree that if you’ve got access to inpatient treatment, you should absolutely get it. There are layers of deep codependency and intentional self destruction in your situation, in addition to the obvious emotional abuse by someone who is in reality a complete stranger, that are all really, really alarming. Please use the link Kate sent to access free services and hotlines in your area and, as soon as you are able, access comprehensive, long term mental health treatment. If there are free clinics or health services in your area please visit a physician to discuss the medication you’ve got and determine if you should be taking it as well.