Just because I think it’s important to recognize where your self esteem is at: You just apologized for wasting our time.
No. Just no.
Nobody is forcing us to come onto this website and listen to you. No one has a gun to our head and is making us try to get through to you. Nobody here is actually employed by this website except for Wendy (and maybe Kate? I’m not sure what the arrangement is beyond Wendy is the boss and Kate is the deputy)
Most of us are here because we want to be here. We are here because we all know what it’s like to be low. We’re here because we want to be.
And you think you’re so unworthy of love, that you’re not even worth the time it takes for people offer advice to you on a volunteer online-advice forum.
I’m here to tell you that it’s just not true. You’re a worthy person. You deserve a better life than what you currently have. You’re entitled to it. You don’t deserve to have anyone say mean things about you. You don’t deserve to say mean things about yourself.
So please, follow Kate’s advice and get the ball rolling on getting serious mental help.