With that bar interaction, it was also the context. He didn’t come sit down at my table while I was talking to my girlfriends, or come up behind me while I was dancing and start shoving his groin into my butt. He saw that I was lonely and bored and needed someone to talk to.
I met another guy in a bar at the bathroom. I was waiting to go in, he went into the men’s room and politely excused himself as he squeezed by me. When he came out and saw me still standing there he said “hey, just use the men’s if you want. I’ll stand by the door.” When I came out he just smiled and went back to his friends, but we exchanged smiles every time we saw each other for the rest of the night, ended chatting outside the bar after it closed, and went out a few times. Again, what got me was that he noticed something about me other than my appearance – this time a need I had – and was thoughtful without expecting anything in return.