Listen, life is hard. You move in with someone, maybe get married, spend a life together and shit is gonna be hard at some points. You’re going to have work stress, family crises, loss and grief. Those are pretty much given and don’t even account for unexpected traumas. You want someone by your side you can TRUST. Someone you can depend on and lean on and know will have your back. What you don’t want is someone who adds to life challenges on a consistent basis, and that’s what this guy does. And you don’t even live together yet! You’re still long distance. It’s not supposed to be this hard at this point. This is the easy part of the relationship – the beginning, while you’re still in the honeymoon period. Your honeymoon period sounds terrible. All the anxiety and stress! Good, healthy relationships with partners who are the right match for you don’t feel like this. They feel good and safe and affirming.
I know it’s hard to fathom, but you can be a lot happier without this guy than you are with him. I promise.