Reply To: Did I do something wrong by rejecting my best friend?

First off, if it’s an option, therapy.

“I’m a terrible person and I don’t deserve to be her friend, let alone her boyfriend.”

You’re not a terrible person for acknowledging what you want (to not be her boyfriend). That this is your first thought suggests deeper issues.

I get that you feel bad, but you didn’t do anything wrong. If you would have agreed to be her boyfriend when you didn’t want to be, you’d have been lying to her. That’s worse.

Sometimes we get crushes and ask people out, and are disappointed with the answer. It sucks but it’s a part of life. Your friend will need to work her way through it. It’s hard to hear but it’s not your responsibility to guide her through this process. I know you want to help (Because you’re a good caring person) but you literally cannot. You are the worst person on earth to help her through this.

Give her some time to adjust to the new status quo, and keep reminding yourself YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. She will either accept the new reality as new friends, or decide that she can’t be friends with you right now because it’s painful for her. Let the ball be in her court.