Reply To: Tell me it’s ok to divorce
@Kate – I’m always impressed with your ability to remember details about the regular posters here. Her conditions are both mental and physical but not the result of an accident. She has Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, which for her basically means her bones constantly move out of place. She also has really severe PTSD and Fibromyalgia, which feed into each other. The end result is that any time spent alone triggers some type of PTSD, which triggers fibro flares, which yanks the bones out of place due to HEDS. It’s a miserable existence.
Things took a turn for the worse over the course of the last year. First, a new therapist tried a new type of trauma therapy that absolutely backfired. She never recovered but at a certain point she was overwhelmed and lost the ability to be kind any time she was suffering (Which again, was nearly always). Any attempt I made to say “Hey, I really can’t handle the way you’re talking to me” was met with “I’m in pain and don’t have it in me to mask anymore, so you need to deal with it”. I tried and tried, but eventually couldn’t hide my hurt feelings anymore which only made her more angry with me until she moved in with her parents. The same sceneario basically played out with them: They helped as long as they could, she made constant scathing comments to them and when they tried to defend themselves or address how she was treating them they were met with more hostility, until her mother couldn’t take anymore and made an aggressive comment to her and she stormed out to move to the MSP area.
I thought we were on a better path with a clear plan going forward but clearly I was overly optimistic, which I think is going to be a recurring theme for me as I process this.
@Anonymousse, @Lucidity, I am currently in therapy and it’s been helping a lot with my co-dependency issues already, but this has really thrown a whole new wrench in my recovery as I have severe issues with guilt.
