So sorry you’re going through this! I echo everyone else’s affirmation that it’s not only OK to get divorced, but it’s healthy and even admirable to acknowledge when something has run its course and no longer serves you or has a future. Taking vows to be with someone through sickness and health and through good and bad doesn’t mean enduring unending hell with little to no hope for improvement or reconnection. You’ve fulfilled your obligation as a committed husband. But the relationship has dramatically changed and it’s ok to change the scope of your commitment, too. You can still love your wife, wish her well, and want the best for her without sacrificing your own well-being (which doesn’t really work to make her happy, anyway).
Stick with therapy as your process these changes in your life. You are probably on the brink of a breakthrough, though it might feel like. breakdown for a while. There’s hope and life and opportunities waiting on the other side.