Reply To: Lack of Boundaries Between Boyfriend and His Soon-to-Be Ex

OK. When I read your first post, I misunderstood. I thought they’d filed for divorce two years ago and it was taking a long time as some divorces can. That’s why I brought up my cousin’s wife, because she literally got a year into the legal process of divorce with her now-ex husband before they decided they decided to give their marriage another try. But really the man you’ve been seeing and his wife have been separated, though moreso doing the “living apart together” thing. Neither one seems ready or even eager to let go and move on. It sounds like you met him right around when divorce papers would’ve been sprung onto him. I’ve never been divorced, but it doesn’t sound like either has had much of a chance to be apart, grieve, process, and start healing and moving forward despite the separate living spaces. The only experience I have dating a divorcing guy was one who was still very much unhealed and turned out to be a hurt person who hurt people — I was in my 20s so it was kinda traumatizing — so I’d avoid a situation like the one you’re in like the plague.