Reply To: Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.

Since my advice and tone was agreeable to you, I’m going to reiterate what others are saying that yes, we can see how this woman you characterize as a cool, smart, funny woman whom you’d like to see again, perceived you as being pushy. We, as women, have experience being women on first dates with men who are pushy. Your behavior makes us think of those experiences. Some of those experiences may have been especially bad and so we come from that perspective. I, personally, have hooked up on a first date before and I ended up marrying the guy and we’ve been together 17 years, so I have that perspective and that may be why I come across a little more gentle here. But the situation was totally different, and if it were a date where I was meeting the guy in person for the first time and didn’t have any mutual friends or connections, I’d be very leery about going home with him. I’m also not in my 20s anymore and would date differently now than I did then, when I was last single.

Anyway, bottom line: you seem a little pushy, both in the way your describe your date and in how you’re behaving here. It may not be an issue for some women, but for it is for most of us and you would have better dating success if you humbled yourself a bit and erred on the side of taking things more slowly when it comes to getting physically intimate.