Reply To: Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with getting drinks for a first date. Most of my first dates were drinks. I brought up alcohol because she told you straight up she wished she hadn’t gone home with you/that you hadn’t asked a second time, and I wondered if alcohol played a role.
I don’t think what you did was inherently *wrong*. You asked if you came across as pushy, to which most people said yes, that would feel pushy to plenty of women and give the impression that what you’re looking for/care about is hooking up. Nobody’s saying that relationships can’t or don’t start after two people go home together on a first date. But it does seem like your approach isn’t lending itself to the kind of relationship you’d like.
But, really, you have this woman who spent a not-insignificant amount of time with you telling you she feels you were inappropriate and boundary-crossing, but you don’t seem interested in hearing or accepting that. I trust her. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
ETA: I also think the context of meeting online matters. It was like going in blind. My boundaries were a little different with men I met in different ways (e.g., through friends). Not long after I jumped onto the online dating world in my city, some guy here made headlines because he was arrested after using online dating platforms to take women out on dates, invite them home, and rape them.
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