Reply To: Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.
If you’re asking where I’m from — which seems irrelevant — I’ve lived in the northeast, west coast, midwest, two cities in Asia, and one city in Mexico. I’ve lived in suburbs and dense urban areas in equal amounts at this point. I’m a city girl at heart. I’m currently in a major U.S. city. I’m actually just about your age. A lot of my friends ended up in NYC, my sister lived there for nearly a decade. I’ve spent a lot of time there, though have never dated there. I’ve heard the Never Neverland jokes. I’m familiar enough that I don’t doubt there are plenty of people hooking up (as there are everywhere). But I also have friends who have met spouses there, plenty of whom dated without participating in hookup culture (or only did so when they felt like it). It’s not the only way to date, in NYC or anywhere.
It can be easy for people to check out when something doesn’t directly affect them — I know I’ve done it before and I guess you are a man living in a society where we are all conditioned to center men and their comfort — but it’s still shocking to me to hear that a man in his 30s (in vibrant, diverse NYC of all places!) could somehow not know what women endure from men in dating, work, wherever.
