Reply To: Am I being too pushy on dates? I could use some advice.

I don’t think anyone’s arguing it’s never OK to hook up on a first date. But you’re saying, “all 4 of my year+ relationships started with a first date hookup” as proof that it can work and, well… you’re older now than you were then. Hopefully the women you’re dating are also older. Times have changed since then — even since your last long relationship.

What worked for you before seems to be not working for you now, and the evidence of that is that you are here in this forum looking for advice.

I think what people are trying to signal here is that you should consider if your approach, which may have worked fine before, need to change now. If your goal is a long-term relationship with someone your age, then first-date hookups are probably not going to be as successful now ~in attaining that goal~ compared to an approach of taking it more slowly.

You might be successful in hooking up, but the hookups may not lead to the relationiship you say you want.