Reply To: What do I suffer from?

It definitely could be depression. Had you ever been diagnosed with that in the past?

Or you may just be in a rut, so to speak.

Do you sleep enough / well? If not, maybe you need to focus on sleep hygiene and force yourself to exercise (walks, dance, whatever) enough to make you feel tired. That will boost your mood too. And you’ll have more energy and feel better and find it easier to make good decisions if you sleep well.

You could also just start tracking your spending in a budget book you can buy on Amazon. Don’t resolve to do anything, just write down everything you spend money on for a month or two, then take a look at your habits, what you could cut out, how much money you could be diverting into savings. Maybe set up an app like Acorns, Chime, Fidelity Bloom, etc. that will help you start saving a little at a time and see it grow. You can earn up to 4.7% or maybe even more on your cash savings!

You could try to get down to 1 cig a day. Patch up. Don’t drink alone.

But if you’re struggling with this stuff, probably time to go back to therapy and get some help.