I really cannot stress the need for a new therapist and probably a new or different dose of meds. Just because you’ve had shitty/maybe good to a point therapists up to now doesn’t mean there aren’t better ones out there. You’re paying for help and medicine but not getting the help you actually neeed or the medicine that will really help you.
Why are your weeks so different? Why do you live your life like that? It seems like when your son isn’t around you need men around to make you feel okay/good about yourself temporarily. Is that true? Is that the older guy thing, I think I remember?
Why not keep your weeks nearly the same, except when your son isn’t with you, the big difference is just that he’s not there, and you just don’t have a minor to care for? And maybe then you see friends, go on a date once in awhile, but largely live like the person you want to be? Like, with behavior that doesn’t make you feel like a mess and out of control (that’s what I’m getting?)
You can be more of a put together adult all the time, when you get your depression under control.
You are making your own choices and living this way.