Right, we have no idea what combination of mental health issues, childhood trauma, and whatever else is going on with you. If I had to guess, the electric bill thing sounds like it stems from a fear of running out of money that might be from something you witnessed your parents doing. Or you’re acting out helplessness in reaction to having to care for another human being and resenting it. I don’t know. But a mental health professional SHOULD be able to figure it out. That literally their job.