Reply To: What do I suffer from?

I don’t remember your past posts and don’t intend to find them. But it sounds like you divorced, felt depressed, got on meds, and started dating — which you found fun until the novelty wore off — all in fairly quick succession. There’s a saying: “Wherever you go, there you are.” Dating is not a solution to your problems, nor is it a replacement for therapy. If you don’t take the time to address your issues, they’re going to continue to be there. You can distract yourself with a new relationship and a million hobbies, but those are all temporary fixes.

So yes, you should speak to a therapist. SO many responses on this site end with, “And perhaps consider speaking with a therapist,” because it’s a useful tool to deal with acute issues, processing the past, or even understanding ourselves better. Whatever is going on with you definitely seems to be of a magnitude that goes beyond the scope of an online forum.