It’s ok to have complicated feelings when someone dies. It’s also ok to have uncomplicated feelings when someone dies. Your father sounds like a miserable human who brings nothing but misery to those around him. You can bring empathy to those grieving, especially your husband, but you’re not under obligation to feel that grief yourself.
You also don’t need to find excuses to justify his behavior. Inter-generational trauma or not, it doesn’t sound like he ever took any steps to think about how his actions affect those around him. This is a guy who thinks it’s funny to make kids cry. It doesn’t get much lower than that.
From the sounds of it, I doubt you’re alone in your feelings.