Reply To: Does it get better?

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May 17, 2023 at 10:27 am #1120411

Not sure I’m the best person to contribute to this thread since I am regularly filled with existential dread and bring up fulfillment (or lack thereof) to my therapist often. But I would overall say I am content.

For me, finding contentment largely came from letting go of the kind of life I assumed I was “supposed” to have. I really bought into society’s narratives about what would make me happy. I had timelines in mind. I compared my trajectory to others. When I had my first “real” job, it wasn’t long before I started putting myself down because I felt like my title should be more grand, my responsibilities larger, my salary higher. I freaked out a little at 28 when I went through a traumatic breakup that left me almost debilitatingly devastated. I ended up getting a job offer in a new city not too long after that breakup and living in a big city was something I knew I wanted. My life became a blank slate, which finally prompted me to think about why I wanted certain things… or if I even wanted them at all! I started focusing on living my life as it was, not as I hoped it would be one day or as I thought society expected me to. I made decisions that were in line with my own interests and values. I have a good job that I like, hobbies I enjoy, a loving boyfriend, solid friendships, a sweet dog I know my seven-year-old self would’ve lost her mind over (haha). Ultimately, a series of major life changes were the catalyst for me to take a step back and really think about what I wanted my life to look like. But you don’t have to be by yourself in a new city to do any of what I did. I credit therapy with helping me get to a point of satisfaction with my life.

Anyway, good luck!