Reply To: Why does he say he just wants to be friends but doesn’t act that way?

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May 18, 2023 at 2:14 pm #1120427

He sounds like someone who would enjoy the benefits of a situationship with you. He’d get all the fun of a relationship without actually having to commit to you or make any effort. Don’t wait around for this guy, LW. You may feel really close to him, but he doesn’t sounds like a friend at all. You can take as much space as you want/need from him. If he’s not interested in dating you, that’s okay — it’s not a reflection on your value.

FWIW, my sister ended up in a pretty similar situation with a guy who became her best friend. The big difference is that they met online, but the other details are similar (he wasn’t over his ex, so they decided to be friends). The lines of their friendship were always blurry. Five years passed this way. Then they went on a trip together and on the drive home, he told my sister he’d started seeing someone else and was going to pursue it more seriously, and wasn’t this trip a nice way to say goodbye to their friendship as it existed. She was devastated. He wanted to stay friends — and she actually tried to do that — but that (probably obviously) didn’t work well. He’s still with that other woman a year and a half later. Anyway, don’t be my sister. Her ex-faux beau was an asshole for sure, but she could’ve protected her heart better. She still refuses to block or delete him from social media.