Reply To: Feeling regretful, or really overreacting?

You didn’t waste 6 years, you patiently gave 6 years of your time to see if this person could get his shit together. He hasn’t. Now you have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. If he never gets his shit together, if you are constantly waiting on him to “be ready” will that be enough for you?

I’m going to be brutally honest here because I think you need to read it in black and white: He’s not going to get his shit together. He’s a big talker. He says all the right things, but he doesn’t deliver. “perfect time” – lots of excuses there. I’m reminded of Aidy Bryant who, when her husband proposed, knew it should be private and that when she got home she immediately took off her bra and knew that she would want to have a bra on for this (for whatever reason, he knows her I don’t). So she tells that when she came home he RACED to the front door to stop her from taking off her bra so he could propose, the way he knew she wanted it. I tell you this story because he broke it down into two rules. Private. Bra. Do you need more? Is he doing this for you? Or is he stalling for himself? Will he put up barriers on where & when you get married. Do you want kids? Is he going to be a responsible parent?

Are you prepared to be disappointed for the next 20+ years and told repeatedly that you shouldn’t be disappointed. That your feelings are wrong because he didn’t mean to make you feel that way. You know what that is rightB? That’s classic fucking bullshit. My dad would pull that crap “I didn’t mean to make you sad, so you shouldn’t have been sad and you shouldn’t make your life out to be so hard” Bull.Shit.