Reply To: Stay with Mum – Or move to bf.

Home / Forums / Advice & Chat / Stay with Mum – Or move to bf. / Reply To: Stay with Mum – Or move to bf.

Avatar photo
July 11, 2023 at 5:00 pm #1123682

I realize I’m a bit late to this thread, but thought I’d chime in anyway as someone who used to sacrifice way too much of herself for others (boyfriends and parents), to say I agree with @Anonymousse. I know you love both, but take your mum and boyfriend out of the equation when deciding your next big life move. The issues you mention here — your boyfriend’s mental health issues and the aftermath of your parents’ divorce — are not yours, nor are they yours to solve. You shouldn’t stay at your mum’s out of guilt. You shouldn’t move to the UK just to support your boyfriend.

If you’re unhappy in Ireland and dream of moving to the UK for reasons independent of your relationship, by all means, go! But go for yourself. IMO if you’re moving somewhere with or for a partner, it should only be to a place you think you’d be happy even if the relationship didn’t work out. At 21, I’d encourage just about any young person — especially a woman — not to live with their SO. I’m sure you’d be able to find flatmates. And while I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t be supportive of an SO going through a difficult time, stay mindful of whether or not the relationship continues to bring you fulfillment.

Good luck!