Reply To: Am I wrong?

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July 22, 2023 at 12:41 pm #1123909

I thought SnapChat deletes everything after 24 hours? I”m not a user, though, so I may be mistaken.

I don’t think you’re wrong for chatting with an opposite-sex friend on SnapChat or anywhere else. I think your boyfriend sounds jealous, controlling, and probably insecure. Using the silent treatment as a form of control/manipulation falls into the realm of emotional abuse, btw. Even if he uses your phone, he shouldn’t be reading your messages with other people. Nor should you have to delete anything for any other reason than wanting to delete it.

“I know boundaries. If he ever talks with an ex friend I know for sure they’re gonna not respect a relationship, and obviously flirt with him, and maybe he won’t do anything to stop it.”

I’m not sure if I’m understanding that correctly, but it sounds like you don’t trust that your boyfriend even has boundaries around other women(?). This doesn’t seem like a great relationship to me, with neither of you fully trusting the other.

When I was in my early 20s, I dated a guy who was constantly jealous. Things started fine, though I saw twinges of jealousy, but over time, it escalated to controlling behavior. Like there was an afternoon where we were invited to study with mutual friends — a few guys — and we got into an argument in my apt building’s hallway because according to him I had to change out of shorts first if I wanted to go. (I ended up not changing, but not going.) I tried to keep the peace by avoiding situations that would upset him. Meanwhile, he did as he pleased. Our relationship finally ended with him cheating. All this to say, I’d run fast and far from a boyfriend like yours. In my experience, behavior like this only gets worse, not better.