Reply To: Enmeshed with a Toxic Mother

Ok, 100% your mom’s behavior is abusive. It may be exacerbated by mental health issues. But you have to understand that abusers can be loving and charming and fun in between episodes of abuse. And Wendy is right, like of course you haven’t learned how to be an independent adult when you’ve been raised by someone incapable of being a functioning adult herself. There could also be codependency going on as a result of the mental health issues and the whole extremely unhealthy dynamic. You need to listen to your therapist and understand that you can love your mom but not accept abusive behavior. You’re employable and have skills. You want to work on yourself, and get away from your mom. You could be using that $500 to rent a room with roommates maybe, or get another part time job to earn more money and afford rent. Focus on yourself and therapy and building a foundation for yourself. Your mom is a disaster and you don’t owe her shit. Boundaries, both emotional and physical, are what you need.

Btw I think that puberty episode was sexual abuse.