Please consider working with your therapist and a domestic violence support group to make a plan to get your vital documents, move your bank accounts, protect your identity from fraud & credit issues and other measures to protect yourself. Your mother sounds absolutely unhinged and the loss of her target will likely result in escalating behaviors including trying to use your SSN or other personal information to destroy your credit.
Nothing that you’ve written above about your mother is normal. You are not a failure. We all fuck up sometimes. A good parent helps us when we fail, encourages us to succeed and doesn’t hold our failures over our heads.