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If you are going to take a leap of faith, at least keep it simple.
There are so many men out there who would gladly do you a favour and it’ll be over in 15 minutes.
There is no physical love as Hollywood shows it.
Please be sure of this.
The rest is heavy fantasy in your mind. Because this is what you have fed yourself on.
Porn destroys real feelings.
So take a leap of faith and do so by having yourself respectfully laid, lady.
Remove all parameters of danger.
Find that person worthy of confidence within you.
The knight in the shining armour will show up. Especially if you know he is already there. He will show up.
Who needs porn ?
In the meantime, sign up in a sports club, go off on weekends with groups of folk for camping outdoors, do charity work for the elderly, deliver newspapers – anything to get out of the box which is causing you go beserk in your mind and consider hooking up with a porn star, dear. Discover what it is really all about. You will grow. Healthily. Good luck !