Reply To: My friends told me that I kissed a guy, but I don’t remember anything.

I’m sorry, but I’m really not able to follow the series of events/relationships as you’re laying them out or how they’re all related. But IMO, it doesn’t really matter if I understand because if your thoughts are intrusive — or even if they’re normal thoughts that affect your quality of life — then you need to be working with a therapist. And even then, therapy is a slow process and you have to put in the work… granted, I went to therapy for different things, but it took me about a year of weekly sessions before I felt healed enough to scale back to every other week, and years after that to scale back to monthly.

I am sorry for the abuse you suffered at a young age, though. Good luck.