Reply To: “My Partner is out of Town and I Don’t Want Him to Come Home”

You should talk to your boyfriend and tell him what you need. My boyfriend and I are proof that you can be independent while in a relationship. We live together and three days per week, WFH together… it can sometimes feel like a lot! We spend time together, but it’s important to both of us to balance that with time with our respective friends and pursuing hobbies. Balance is possible, but you have to talk to him about what your needs are.

Does your partner have hobbies? Friends? I hope you also have these things for yourself, but I raise it specifically in regard to him because there is a loneliness epidemic out there among cis het men. Studies show that they don’t tend to form the same close, intimate friendships as women and the result is that they enter relationships with women who eventually become their entire emotional support system. (This is part of the reason I find it grating when I hear couples say they married their best friend — men often don’t have best friends and it’s a problem!)