Reply To: Social Life and Crush in the Office

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September 16, 2023 at 6:18 am #1125464

You should drop the concept of “Man up” in the context of work. Don’t even think that way, in gendered terms like that. I just took my annual “inclusive interactions” training and there was a scenario where someone told someone to man up and it was called out as sexist, because the guy was saying it’s not manly to be nervous about a presentation. Here you’re saying you’re not manly unless you ignore your coworker.

Anyway. Just treat this woman like a co-worker. If you’re in earshot of a convo where you hear your name and laughter, walk over and say, I heard my name, what’s funny? Maybe she’s talking about another Dylan. Maybe her partner or her dog is named Dylan. Maybe she’s talking about you, who knows. Calling it out will put her on notice if she’s being mean, and give her a chance to include you if she’s not.

But overall it’s not wise to freeze out a coworker OR treat them differently because you have a crush. Work isn’t a dating site, women are there ti earn a paycheck. Relationships can develop but they have to not be in the same chain of command and need to start organically with friendship and hanging out outside work.