Reply To: How to tell family enough is enough

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September 22, 2023 at 9:55 pm #1125607

Well, this sounds exhausting and likely expensive/costly for everyone too. I think you have “done your time” and they seem to be leeching off others now. You can speak up if you want. I would tell your mom and other sponger sisters that you love them, but have instituted new house rules,as you are ” finding life too busy and exhausting lately and
you are “short on quiet time and it is impacting your health.”
Tell them they are welcome to visit X times a year ( once,twice,4 times,whatever you decide works ) and they will be welcome for 3 days etc. ( your choice) and after that ,if they want to visit more, they must get their own accommodations and you will see them at specific times,like meeting for a lunch etc.
They will protest likely but be firm. Tell them if they show up at unscheduled times,you will not welcome them and will be busy with other plans. Then don’t let them/her in, lock up and leave the house etc. This is a huge overstep on your mom’s part and she needs to respect that it is not working for you. it seems harsh,but she is being an inconsiderate jerk. Tell her that the others are having issues with the visits too and she needs to talk to them and find out their limits if she wants to keep visiting and feeling welcome. good luck!