Reply To: My best friend’s new guy

You don’t need to be supportive OR tell your friend to stop speaking to this guy (and unless she’s asking for your advice, it’s not your place to tell her how to conduct her relationships). Try to be a neutral observer who neither applauds nor trashes the guy’s behavior, and when your friend starts discussing him more than you can comfortably tolerate, tell her you’re ready to change the topic. You can set boundaries without trash-talking the guy. You’re allowed to say: “It’s been hard as a friend hearing about how hurt you’ve been by this guy’s behavior, but if you’re happy right now, I am happy for you. At the same time, I don’t want to continue hearing about hurtful things he does if you have no interest in getting out of the relationship. As a close friend, I don’t know what to say in response without sounding like I don’t support the relationship.”