Reply To: Office Life and Social Life
Making a real friend at work is always nice, but people go to work to earn a paycheck, not to make friends. I’m not sure your expectations are realistic. Some of it also depends on office culture. I’m at my fourth company since graduating and of those four, two companies tried to be “fun” with social/bonding opportunities. Two — including the one I’m at now — skew a little older and quieter. Does your office have a social committee? Maybe you can join.
My original post to you included suggestions for how to make new friends in a new area. Go back and read it. I listed off the things that worked for me. Work is one avenue to make friends but IMO that shouldn’t be the first and only place you look. Dating apps can work (met my bf of five years on Bumble!), but yeah, they’re a clusterfuck. And even so, that shouldn’t be your only form of socializing outside of work. TBH if I could go back in time to when I was brand new to my city, I’d not have jumped onto an online dating site at all for a year. I’d have focused solely on getting settled, finding my routine, and making friends. Even if you found a new girlfriend, you’d still want these things because a relationship cannot save you from loneliness and would not be your whole life.
Lastly, it IS lonely being somewhere new by yourself. I remember the very first weekend I had alone in my new city… I had no idea what to do with myself so I literally just walked around and got to know my neighborhood. Try to plan one thing to look forward to every weekend, even if that one thing is by yourself. Try a new spot for lunch, take yourself to a museum, take a class. Learn to enjoy your own company.
