Reply To: Office Life and Social Life 3

It sounds like you really want to be in with them, have them interested in you, etc…but why? This is your place of work and you’re the new guy.

Work! That’s what you’re there for, not to socialize or make friends. If anyone is saying anything about you, that’s their problem, and they should also be focused on work. I wouldn’t concern yourself with what YOU THINK they are saying about you or thinking about you. You can’t control what people think.

Be cordial, be friendly, ask about their weekend, small talk is the level you are at with them right now. They don’t know you and small talk is how you make tiny connections. Those tiny “How are ya’s?” lead to more, or they don’t. Friendships are a bonus of work, sometimes. It’s not a guarantee. Small talk and work talk is how after weeks, months of seeing people at a new job, you make work friends. Not by getting pissed no one cares about you at your new job. Why and what do people need to empathize with you at work about?

It takes time to get to know people and find common interests and you may be putting off “I’m better than you rich people” vibes, which is what I’m getting here. You’re annoyed they show no interest in you, but you also make fun of what they talk about? What do you want from them?

You are struggling with connecting with people, you say no one can empathize with you. In what way do you want coworkers to empathize with you?

What is the problem? Where is your family? I’m sensing a bigger loneliness and isolation that’s more than just not feeling good at work. Where are your friends? How old are you? What’s going on that you are so fixated on people you don’t really know at your job? I’m sorry you’re struggling so much, but I think you’re putting the onus on the wrong people.

Do you have health insurance?