Dammit. I’ve wanted one of their bags for awhile but I’m a poor substitute teacher now and really need to cut my spending. It was just my birthday and, as always I bought myself everything I wanted over weeks, which ended up being an ashamedly amount of self gifts…not like, handbags but expensive hair and face care, two expensive plants, tchotchkes, etc and then my husband made me a fancy dinner a weekend before…and the actual day of totally sucked.
On my 40th birthday, I was working which was super fun, my ex bff of 35 years (who ghosted me during the pandemic) texted me, and I got super upset because it’s the first I’ve heard from her, even through a mass in my face and facial surgery and so much other shit. And after work I sort of told her exactly how I felt and how hurt I was, but in a calm and measured way. But seriously, could have done without “I never cared about you,” “we have nothing in common,” etc etc from a person who literally a few months before this wrote a letter to me extolling what a great friend I was. Ugh.
My dad is still choosing to pretend he is a child free man, so my adult brother and I are still just hurt and it feels a little bit like suffering, in a way. It really sucks. He’s there choosing not to be apart of my life, his, my kids. My birthday is just another big reminder that my dad doesn’t talk to me.
I have had a few midlife epiphanies since last Monday, so here’s hoping this is the year of breakthroughs and not giving a shit, which also giving a shit?
Good news is I do think I am going to go back to school, even if it’s very very part time to get my teaching certificate so I can teach at the performing arts school I sub at, and I am making new friends despite the shit that’s gone on with losing friends. That’s my dating update.
Anyone? Tell me about your life.