Reply To: How to get my bf’s brothers to see me as a sister?

I have been with my husband for 30 years, married nearly 25, and I consider his brothers “fond acquaintances.” We are friendly, we see each other a few times a year, hug at family events, send cards and gifts, etc.

But they don’t consider me a sister. Because I’m not their sister! I didn’t share their childhood, etc. They’re closer to their cousins than they are to me.

I don’t think there’s anything unusual about this. My husband chose me as his family; his brothers accept me but did not choose me as their family and I’m not part of his family.

(For example: my husband and I have been together a long time and are unlikely to split, but if we did, I’d probably never communicate with his brothers again. That’s because we are not family, where you are enmeshed for a lifetime whether you want to be or not. If you know what I mean.)

LW I think you need to make some good friends, female and/or male. Choose your own family.