@Daisy – you have to acknowledge their presence otherwise you could be perceived as “bringing drama”. That said come up with a few oblique phrases that you feel appropriately find the balance between disdain and pity (Pity that their heads are so far up their asses it’s difficult to see things right in front of them). Also, I’m not autistic and awkward situations are awkward. You can prepare. Find phrases and most importantly, practice saying them out loud before the event. Make them comfortable in your mouth. It sounds crazy, but it helps you not stumble over the words. And you can hear when it sounds “rambly” and too long winded.
“Yes, I see that you made it here safely.”
“Cousin, still alive and kicking. How nice.”
When they come up – if the first thing isn’t an apology then just politely excuse yourself. Get more soda. Look for your “missing” kid. Go to the bathroom.
And if you really want to throw it in their faces:
“I am so glad that the children and I could be here, given all that has happened, just being alive and healthy feels like a miracle each day.”
“It is good to see family, especially those who have supported me in the most difficult times. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go find <person> and hug them and tell them how much I’ve missed them.”
And if worse comes to worst:
“If you want to read the court transcripts they may be publicly available as the police and courts had to step in to protect us.”