Echoing the need for therapy. I’m also a little confused by your relationship timeline. You say you dated “for a few months” but also say that you found out after one month that he was married and broke it off with him because you felt guilty. How much could you have really loved this guy if you didn’t even know him? And how could you have known him if you hadn’t asked him anything personal?
This isn’t love; it’s something else, and I agree with the others that an online forum isn’t the help you need. A good therapist could help you examine your attraction to a guy who would treat you like this one has, as well as help you decipher between love and what you’ve been calling love but isn’t love.