Yeah that is odd. Did your mother say why she’s so hell bent on being included? Essentially you aren’t the event host so it’s not for you to invite people.
This is a really great opportunity for you to work on strengthening your backbone with your mother. Of course you can confirm if the home visit is OK but if your boyfriend and his family get to determine the guest list. If you’re together for the long haul there will be other opportunities to meet. If not, I’ve been with my husband for 12 years and I think our parents have met at most three times. It hasn’t been a problem.