Reply To: Falling “In Love” With My Friend

IDK that I think it’s problematic that you feel calm around this woman — the advice for people with an anxious attachment style, for instance, is to focus on the people who make you feel calm and at peace — but I do think it’s unusual that you are nervous around new people in general and feel you won’t live up to their standards. Not sure if it’s deep insecurity, social anxiety, or what, but I’m sure a therapist can help you figure that out and how it impacts your dating life.

I don’t necessarily feel naturally at ease with most people I meet — I’m not nervous, I’m not concerned about their expectations — so I did pay attention to whether or not I felt that in dating.