Reply To: I asked my daughter on Thanksgiving why she didn’t tell me she’s no longer vegan

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November 26, 2023 at 12:18 pm #1126835

So, here’s the thing. When it comes to the things you’re daughter is not being straight-forward with you on: they are things you are doing that are from a big-picture view as morally right and correct. I think this is what you want to hear, and the truth is I don’t think you’re wrong. Yes, the world would be a better place if everyone were vegan. The pain and suffering we put on animals that we harvest for food and dairy is unconscionable, and most people have such a strong reaction against it because on some level they know. Your daughter probably feels the same way, but had chosen to no longer be vegan anyways.

We could have eliminated COVID and would be a much healthier society of everyone wore masks all the time, and socially distanced year round. Your daughter knows this, and has decided to not mask anyways.

People smoke even though they know it causes cancer. People watch TV for hours on end even though they know it would be better spent exercising. People buy electronics even though they know they were built with exploitive child labor.

Everyone does this. We all carry some amount of cognitive dissonance through the world and actively do things we know are largely bad. I use social media even though I know it’s responsible for fucking up democracy and organizing hate groups. I eat dairy even though I know what animals go through to get us milk and cheese. I don’t wear masks in public anymore even though I know how effective it is.

Why do we do these things? We all have a physical, financial, and psychological weight to bear, and we go through life coping as best we can. You HAVE to understand that your daughter is managing her life as best she can, and you can no longer pass judgement on how she chooses to live.

It’s not enough to just acknowledge it and ignore it and not talk about it. You have to truly accept it and love your daughter unconditionally.