Reply To: DW Community Catch-up Thread

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December 12, 2023 at 12:39 pm #1127063

Never been married or divorced, but I also think you are overthinking it. I have a sizable minority of friends who married and divorced young. Only one had a kid with her first husband. I’d say most cut contact with their ex-spouse and their family/friends completely, if not right away with intention then it just kinda happened with time. One stayed in touch with her ex-SIL for a bit, but realized it wasn’t great for her mentally (she’d find herself hoping her ex would hear how great she was doing w/o him… she had not wanted the divorce), so she cut that last small tie to him. Especially if they’ve maintained contact with you, I think occasional contact is fine. If it feels bad or messes with your mental health, it’s also okay to step back.

On the flip side, I have a friend whose late 20s/no kids sister is getting divorced right now. They just had their first Thanksgiving without her BIL after about a decade of him being in their lives. Her sister is happy to be divorcing and I think feels free. My friend is a little bummed to lose a BIL and hopes they can be friendly when the dust settles.