Reply To: How do you characterize an abusive marriage and divorce?

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December 16, 2023 at 10:51 am #1127121

You could describe the marriage as unhealthy and unhappy and leave it at that… at least for now. It’s generally a red flag when someone overshares about their past relationship, calls their ex crazy, or isn’t able to reflect about the role they played in their relationship dynamics (and to be clear, I do not mean that anyone deserves to be abused)… but I do think there are ways to accurately describe what happened in a way that is accurate without oversharing or bashing. But you also don’t owe a new romantic interest all the details. You also never have to share any details if you don’t want to.

I dated one divorced guy for about a year in my mid-20s and I didn’t ask many questions about his divorce. I knew the basics of why his marriage had ended, I knew he carried around a lot of shame for marrying and divorcing young. But I let him tell me what he wanted as he felt comfortable. It never felt like my business.