Well…I had a very illuminating conversation with my brother yesterday.
We met up for lunch yesterday, since I wanted to see him before Christmas if I decided not to go, and he told me that for the past few months, my parents have essentially been shit talking me about various grievances they have with me. He’s told them multiple times that they should talk to me directly about their complaints, and while they say they will, they obviously haven’t yet. He thought it was unfair how I’m not there to defend myself, so he asked me some questions to get my perspective.
About two months ago, I asked my brother to housesit my apartment for me because I was out of town for a month and a half. Apparently, where I thought my parents were just ambivalent about it, my parents explicitly said he shouldn’t do it for the most inane reasons, one of them being that back in the summer, I didn’t drive by and check on their house when they were on vacation for 2 weeks, (where I simply forgot to), and since I was “careless and selfish”, why should he do this favor for me? My brother still ended up housesitting, but they’ve been holding this grudge for a while.
He mentioned a few other things they’ve been complaining about, but one of their main things is that I’m taking days to respond to texts and calls, and noticeably distancing myself from them. My mom has been crying about it, and my dad getting upset with me on her behalf.
They’re also convinced that I’m talking to my half-siblings again (I’m not), and my siblings or a boyfriend they don’t know about (I’m single) are putting things in my ear and pulling me away from them.
The most bothersome thing is the ranting and raving behind my back, and when they could simply pick up the phone and initiate an adult-to-adult conversation. It’s clear to me they were probably waiting for me to come over for Christmas to “pounce” on me.
I’ve never had a decision made faster for me. Not coming over, not calling.