I went back and read your earlier post. It does sound like you have a potentially debilitating fear of being alone, and the intolerance of porn seems like it’s about needing a guy to prove he’s 100% devoted to you, with eyes for no other women? That kind of jibes with the lack of female friendships you talk about. I’m definitely not a psychologist but those two things seem to go together. So then after your breakup (he did end up moving out, right?), you find yourself spending time with this 50 y/o married skeeveball because you don’t want to be alone and haven’t developed healthy female friendships or other good ways to spend your time. Does this make sense? Is it a path you’ve explored in therapy?