Reply To: “Fiancé Didn’t Defend Me to His Abusive Father”

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golfer.gal
January 5, 2024 at 9:20 pm #1127509

Leave immediately. If you live together, make sure you have a plan to get out safely i.e. get your things out when he isn’t home, have somewhere safe to go, don’t tell him in person etc. You can always call the national domestic violence hotline and speak to someone who can ask you the right questions to make a comprehensive plan to get you out safely.

Asking you not to tell anyone isn’t just a giant red flag, it’s a test. He wants to see what you do – will you brush his abuse under the rug, protect his reputation over your own safety, etc. This guarantees it will be worse next time, because he’ll know there’s no risk of being exposed. He will beg, he will cry, he will swear up and down to be better and never do it again. But the reality is he will absolutely do it again. If you feel the need, read Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft, but really you should just leave and never look back.