I also want to say, stop holding all you e done to support your child over her. That’s what parents are supposed to do- support their children. If you both had done a better job of teaching respect and responsibility perhaps she wouldn’t need so much help. She is in her mid twenties- that’s not very old to me. You can’t even rent a car until you’re 25.
There are a lot of issues here, but if you don’t want to be yelled at, don’t be his messenger. Make boundaries.