You have been looking outward to others to find out what brings happiness and you’re trying that yourself. The problem is, you need to find out what makes you feel happy. Do you have friends and hobbies? I will also echo therapy. A good therapist may take a few sessions to get there, but they will be able to help you figure out why this is a hard topic and idea for you.
People work their entire lives to get those things those socially prescribed harbingers of success, thinking they will bring immediate happiness but that’s not the case. Happiness is something you need to define and describe for yourself. And chase it.
You need to start dabbling in hobbies, art, craft, athletics- make lists of what you like and what you don’t. Try things. Every failure is progress if you’re just trying to figure out what you like and what will bring you joy.
Just keep dabbling. It’s a big world out there and there are lots of things to find happiness in.